Everything Is #@%!ed: A Book About Hope - Review

First off, I have to thank my cousins (you know who you are) for this birthday gift! I managed to read this in less than a week. It's just been such an impactful and fun read!

This isn't like any typical self-help book... actually, I don't even think it's a self-help book. Rather, it challenges you on your current beliefs and values of yourself and of the world.

If you're into reading about philosophy and psychology, then I highly recommend this book. Everything Is #@%!ed is about what the title is: why everything is #@%!ed up. Why is it that although the world is better than ever, mankind is also at its highest point of misery? Because we're in such a well-off time and place, people are trying their very best to avoid any form of pain, physically and emotionally. Technology makes our lives much easier, and while that helped take us away from times of suffering, it also gave birth to a generation that does not know how to handle it. Thus, it all boils down to the fact that the world runs on emotions, and that people are just much more sensitive than they were before.

Mark Manson debunks the classic assumption that humans are rational when really, we're not. It explains this through examples of religion, culture, politics, marketing, interpersonal relationships, simple decision-making, and our own personal growth.

I view myself as a very emotional person, and for a while, I was ashamed of that. People around me tended to view emotions as a weakness, particularly sadness. If you cry, people will think you're weak. So I would often beat myself up when I feel emotionally distressed like it was possible to beat the emotions out of me.

Reading this book made me feel much better because it explains that every single person acts based on emotion. Even the most logical person you will ever meet does certain things because of emotions. I'm not saying logic is useless in this case, but Mark does a very good job of explaining the importance of balancing both your emotions and logic together to make better decisions on how to treat others and especially yourself.

But I think the best part of this book was Mark's explanation of people's perception on freedom. I don't want to spoil this book for any interested readers, but there is just one line in the book that struck me to my core that I just have to share it.

The only true form of freedom, the only ethical form of freedom, is through self-limitation. It is not the privilege of choosing everything you want in your life, but rather, choosing what you will give up in your life.

Really, this made me view my decisions in a very different way. I have a bad habit of overloading myself with too many commitments and activities, because I get overexcited about them and think that I need to do all of them, otherwise, I'm missing out. In the end, that just gives me too much to do. It only gives me the illusion of being productive, when really, I'm not getting its full value. Self-limitation is the practice to prioritize what I choose to dedicate myself to, and what I believe is worth my time. With fewer things on your plate, you are able to see it in its depth and understand its true value in your life.

Overall, I think the biggest changes this book has made in my mindset are 1. Find the commitments that are worth sacrificing for;

2. Be more understanding of people with different values. These values are based on people's emotions and what they believe is right. There is no way you can change them because having a value system is something that cannot be changed with a couple of "facts and arguments". It can only be changed through experiences that challenge their current values. (this section of the book was one of my favourites); and

3. Do not pursue happiness. It is a very misleading value and gives you the mindset of trying to avoid pain. But pain is the universal constant in life. Avoiding it means that we are preventing ourselves from growing into better versions of ourselves. So as Mark Manson says in his book, "If we're going to be forced to suffer by simply existing, we might as well learn how to suffer well."

Overall rating of this book? 9.5 #@%!s out of 10.