The Power of Compliments

The beginning of Golden Bear Orientation

Today was the first day of the Golden Bear Orientation at UC Berkeley. The place was packed with freshmen, exchange students, and transfer students, all divided into different groups. I was grouped with other students who transferred from different US universities, and a few exchange students. I'm going to make a separate post for the whole orientation week, but this post will instead be something I learnt today after meeting a lot of new friends and having interesting conversations with them.

Honestly, it's a simple concept: compliments. Compliments may sound small, but I realized how good of an impact it creates for other people, and also, how it benefits you. Surprisingly, we tend to underestimate this a lot.

There was one girl from my orientation group who had tattoos on her arms and behind her ear. I told her how unique and interesting they looked, and just with that, a whole new conversation was brought up on the meaning behind her tattoos and where she got them. And it also intrigued more people in our group to listen, and I think that helped the few of us bond more closely together. I was never one to really think much about tattoos but after hearing her love she had over them gave me more to reflect about on how different people's perspectives could be, and how interesting it is to learn more about that.

Another conversation I had with a few of my groupmates was that they thought I carried myself well for my age, and I that meant a lot to me, and made me feel that I had the capability to push myself to interact with people from different walks of life.

I think that's the magic behind it. It makes people feel empowered and feel as if they could connect with you in a better level. And I'm trying to make it a habit to always find something I can compliment people on, no matter how small it could be. As I mentioned in a previous post, one of my rules in life is to appreciate the small things, because it can help you feel much better about the bigger things in life.

Compliments don't always have to be through words, but they can be through actions too. As I used a shuttle bus in Golden Gate Park the other day, there was a bus driver that I conversed with during the ride. He was a humble man, and opened up about his life story as he drove us to our stop. With just one conversation, I was able to learn so much about his character.

Not long afterwards, he had an argument with a passenger, where they demeaned him of how slow he drove. Despite that, he tried to make the other passengers on the bus enjoy the ride and make sure they were not uncomfortable, even with the rude remarks that were sent his way. And I thought that was amazing. And I wanted to remember it. So I took a picture with him. When I asked to take a picture, he simply laughed and smiled. I saw him occasionally after that when I went around the Park, and he would always stop the bus out of recognition, say hello, and offer a ride. And I think small actions like that already show what kind of impact you have made for that person.

Our bus driver at Golden Gate Park. He told us about his life story and we became pretty good homies.

So compliment people as much as you can (but not too much, otherwise, that would just make you look like a shoe shiner).

Compliment them on their smile, the way they dress, or even just say "Have a nice day!" to your local driver, because I'm sure a bit of appreciation always comes a long way.