What is Normal?

I had a debate with my boss the other day at my summer intern job. We were discussing about gender identity, and whether there should be two genders or not. And then it extended into the conversation of just identity in general.

“What would you do if someone told you they identified as a bird?” He asked.

“A bird.” I replied with a deadpan expression.

“Yeah. What if they said they identified as bird and not a person. That they feel like their true selves when they flap their wings?”

It was certainly a strange question to think about, but I already had an answer.

“I’d just be curious why they would think that.” I answered. “Probably ask a few questions to challenge them. But if they’re adamant into thinking that they’re a bird, then I don’t see why I should bother changing their mind. If they’re not hurting anyone, then it doesn’t matter.”

“But doesn’t it insult your intelligence?” He challenged. “They’re obviously not a bird! It’s not normal!”

Yes, it is true. It is not normal in the literal sense. But what is normal, anyway? We are raised in an environment where we have to believe that we must wear clothes, that we must have a job and make money, must act a certain way because society tells us to.

But way back in the past, people did not have jobs nor wore clothes unless they needed it to keep warm. Even now, there are some people who live in a different way compared to us. There are people who undergo body modifications to look a certain way, maybe even in a non-human-like way. There are people who enjoy living in the nude. There are people who don’t conform with binary gender, creating a completely new category of their own.

And honestly, who are we to judge? There is no normal. It is a culture-made definition. Everyone has their own unique culture, which is not determined by society, but by themselves. There is no need for us to convert people to what we view as our culture or the correct one. There is no correct culture. It simply is just life. And we have no right to force our own views unto others. We should just learn to understand and accept it. And ultimately, just continue living our own normal lives.

The same is applied to the people who we view as unusual. No one should go to you and tell you that you must be something you’re not. No one should tell you that you must be a bird as well or that you are inconsiderate for not calling them one.

And this is especially important when it comes to interacting with people from different ethnic groups. Why do we discriminate each other based on the colour of our skin? Why do we discriminate each other based on the history of their entire country? Come on, some of these people were not even born when the World War happened. It is called history for a reason. We should hold no grudges for people who have not lived in that time and just base them on who they are as people right now. They did no ill will.

We are so used to what society tells us and use that to act with prejudice. Instead, why not keep an open mind? Understand the other person’s perspective, and if you have nothing nice to say, just don’t say it. Don’t add on any more damage or ill will than there already is in the world. We all have the chance to have something nice to say to someone. Something impactful and moving. We have the ability to make people feel important, regardless of where they are from and who they believe they are. Let them live their own lives. No one is wrong for living their own definition of happiness.